


Love you goodbye

by Dracolovesharryfightme



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:09:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22230838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracolovesharryfightme/pseuds/Dracolovesharryfightme
Summary: Sirius Black has to get married, he has to leave Remus, but what if Remus wasn't ready to say goodbye..
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Love you goodbye

Heartbeats, slow, steady..  
Heartbeats, rhythmic, calming..  
Heartbeats.. the only thing Remus heard while he laid wide awake in the arms of his boyfriend, the one who'll turn 21 and won't be his anymore. 

Remus couldn't sleep, how could he?, Not when in two days his lover won't be his, his one and only will be 21, the love of his life will get married, away from him. Sirius will get pulled away from his arms to marry a girl, one who's named in a contract made by his family, the most ancient and nobel house of Black. A pure blood family that Sirius is nothing like. 

Sirius broke every rule and manner he was told to follow until he ran away at the age of sixteen, the year he fell into the arms of Remus and fell in love with him helplessly.

Remus' tears flowed silently down his cheeks, the idea of breaking up with Sirius broke him, he loved him unconditionally and dangerously, and he knew that their relationship would lead to this eventually, yet he refused to accept it, he refused to let go, he believed that Sirius was indeed the love of his life and his one and only. 

Soon enough Sirius woke up, he immediately saw Remus' silent tears and wiped them with the most delicate touch in the world, then softly pecked his lips once, twice, three, four and five times until a ghost of a smile appeared on Remus' lips. 

"Morning Pads" Remus said in a whisper,his hands cupped Sirius' face gently and tucked a soft strand of his hair behind his ears.

"Morning moons" Sirius smiled a little, he was in denial, refusing to accept that he has to let go of the only one he actually loved. 

Remus stared into his eyes, silver, bold, fierce and.. sad, he shook his head and gulped the sob trapped in his throat away, his lover noticed, gently he cupped his face and kissed him.

As soon as Remus' lips met Sirius', all and every emotion spilled through their kiss, the sorrow, the pain, the want, the need. Lips moving, dancing and expressing some things words cannot. 

"Remus I'll always be yours, my heart belongs to you and only you, never forget okay?" Sirius said softly, his thumb rubbing soft circles on Remus' cheek, a tear stained his while doing so. 

"Please don't cry.." Remus whispered, Sirius' tears was his weakness, the only thing he couldn't handle no matter what Sirius' tears broke him. 

"Moony how can I not when I can't kiss you anymore, I can't stay in your arms.. I won't be safe Remus, I'm lost without you" Sirius rested his head on Remus' chest, tears staining Remus' cotton shirt, Sirius closed his eyes, Remus' heartbeats was all he could hear.

Remus sighed shakily, he wrapped his arms around Sirius and held him close, dreading the day he has to let go.

The two days passed by, Sirius' birthday was here, but instead of a fancy big party, Sirius just decided to spend the day with his boyfriend, only them two spending their last day together before Sirius' wedding. All the two wanted was to be in each other's arms, wishing to just die at that moment instead of breaking up and saying goodbye.

Sirius was meant to leave to his old house, his parents', to stay there until the date scheduled, so he was all packed, all be has to do was wait for the driver, so he sat in Remus' lap and kept kissing him and hugging him and touching his cheeks and hair and just savoring every moment he could.

Remus on the other hand felt empty, hollow and emotionless, his hands tangled in Sirius' hair and he brought him closer in a kiss, loving him goodbye, giving his all in kisses and soft gentle touches, grazing the soft marks decorating Sirius' collarbones from a day ago.

"You know pads.. you know that I can never look at you as a friend, it's impossible, all the love that I have for you, our love is something only us could understand" he sighed and kept softly, gently grazing all over his lover's body, as if his hands were memorizing the body that was once his.

"I wish I could do something moons, you know that the last thing I want is hurting you " Sirius sighed as well and rested back on Remus' chest.

Soon enough, the doorbell rang, cutting their moments forever, Sirius got up of Remus' lap, biting his lips while silent tears ran down his face, a choked sob left his mouth while he head to the door, Remus followed him, the same burning tears staining his cheek.

Sirius opened the door and took his bags out, then turned around and buried himself in Remus' arms, then kissed him one last time. 

Their teary eyes locked once more, Remus had both his hands on Sirius' cheeks, he grazed all over his cheeks and his lips gently.

"I love you Sirius Black, I always did and I'll always do.." Remus choked out and kisses Sirius' forehead gently, he has to let go, his heart was already broken, so might as well twist the knife.

" I love you too Remus, I'll never stop loving you" Sirius closed his eyes and cried bitterly, he never wanted to let go, all he wanted was Remus, only Remus. 

" Goodbye padfoot" Remus said sadly, Sirius repeated his goodbye and left, leaving a hole in Remus' heart and taking his soul along with him as he walked through the door of their apartment, the one that they bought and made a home of.

Everything went grey in Remus' eyes, the bright blue couch lost its color, the pride flag hanging bright on the wall became nothing but grey stripes holding painful memories that were once the happiest.

Remus broke down, he can do nothing but cry, he sat against the wall and stared at the ceiling, how could he love again, how could he start again, Sirius was all he got, no one will accept him and love him like Sirius did. 

Not long after, a bottle found its way in Remus' hand, he drowned the liquor as if his life depended on it, the burning sensation down his throat was nothing compared to the heartache that's killing him slowly.

A thousand cuts was all he felt after saying goodbye, he was bleeding, he was everything but alive at that moment, Sirius wasn't his, he lost him, he was gone..

As for Sirius, he entered the manor, the big, fancy, dark, depressing manor, he went straight to his quarter, talking to no one, responding to nothing and eating nothing, maids and house helpers came and went, nothing is making him move a muscle, he sat with his knees drawn to his chest, his eyes were red and puffy, no longer silver, but a dull empty grey reflecting all the pain and sorrow he was feeling. 

Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours and hours to days, time meant nothing to either Sirius or Remus, both did nothing, both laid awake, both wanted each other and nothing but that. 

Remus locked the doors and never left the house, James, their best friend, trying to visit, he even gave Remus his godson, Harry, to cheer him up but nothing worked, nothing took Remus out if head space, he needed no one but Sirius. 

Soon enough, wedding bells rang, guests arrived and filled the ballroom of the blacks magnificent manor on both sides, that wedding was considered something huge, it's the heir of the most ancient and noble house of black after all.

Sirius stood up, in a black tailored suit with his family's crest sewn on his chest, he looked in the mirror and wiped the tears that never seem to stop and smiled at his reflection, he needs to give the people what they came for, so he smiled, buy not even a fake smile would hide the sorrow and pain he felt, so he smiled again and again and again until he broke down in sobs, this isn't him, this isn't who he is, his hair cut short, all his tattoos airbrushed and hidden even when they're already covered under the suit he's wearing. 

Time was running, he had to leave to the altar, to stand and repeat words he doesn't want to say to anyone but Remus, but he had to, he had to force the words out of his mouth, he had to step on his heart, it's out of his control, so he walked down the alter and stood, looking at the crowd waiting to witness his marriage, then looking to his left, seeing his best friend next to him smiling apologetically, little Harry, his godson, wearing a small suit standing next to his father.

Sirius' eyes scanned the crowd, looking for a pair of familiar eyes, he had hoped to see Remus once more, he sighed and looked at his foot, he can't run away, the contract was binding, he was stuck. 

The ceremony started soon enough when Sirius' bride walked on the altar gracefully, stealing everyone's attention, she was indeed Beautiful, despite it, Sirius didn't look at her, not once, his heart belonged to someone else.

The officiant spoke, starting the ceremony and everything else, Sirius didn't bother to listen to whatever he was saying, until a specific phrase caught his attention, he bit his lips. 

" if anyone objects, speak now or forever hold your peace" the officiant said and no soul dared to speak, Sirius sighed brokenly and stared back at his feet until someone cleared their throat, he looked up only to see the only one he was longing to see, standing proudly in the middle of the altar. 

" I do, I object. I love you, Sirius, I always have and always will, and I can't, I can't bear to see you like this, my love you're not happy.. I know that no one would make you happy but me, you're mine my star.. I love you padfoot, everything about you, when the things I don't like, I love. And I know that you love me too, so come here, come in my arms padfoot" Remus stood and spoke, his eyes teary and hopeful.

Everyone gasped, the blacks were furious, screaming to the guards to get him out of their wedding, out of the way, but James Potter who was standing right next to Sirius smiled and squeezed his mate's shoulder. 

Sirius on the other hand, overwhelmed with the emotions, he choked out a sob then ran straight to Remus, he jumped in his arms and hugged him tight, his sobs didn't seem to stop, he clinged to Remus' dress shirt and sobbed, Remus held him as close as he could, protecting him from everything and everyone. 

Sirius cupped Remus' face with both his hands, his eyes stared in Remus', then without another thought, he placed his lips on Remus', needing to feel the comfort and love Remus' kisses gave him. That was when all hell broke loose.

Orion black passed out from the sight of his son, while Walburga looked at him with disgust, most guests left politely, knowing that it's a family matter. 

As for Sirius and Remus, they kept kissing, again and again and again, as if they were making up for the last month or so, eagerly holding each other and melting in each other's arms. 

Remus held Sirius' hand while his arm wrapped around Sirius' waist " come with me, back home, where we belong." he leaned in and whispered softly, making Sirius smile for the first time since he left.

Before he took him back he took something out of his jacket's pocket, then in front of the love of his life he kneeled on a knee, promising his life, his heart and his soul to the man before him. 

" Sirius I know you do want to get married so marry me, let me make you happy, let me be your everything, let me call you by my name.. marry me Sirius Black" while Remus talked, tears streamed down Sirius' cheeks, he sobbed and covered his mouth, his mother watched with the most shocked look on her face. 

Remus smiled and picked the ring from the box "say yes padfoot.. tell the world that we belong together" he said softly and Sirius nodded. the smile on Remus' face widened while he put the ring in Sirius' finger then kissed him.

Both men went back to their home, as soon as they stepped in the house Sirius' back was pinned against the door, Remus' lips found their way to the very familiar lips that are the only thing he needs. 

They shared an eager needy and heated kiss, lips moving in a rhythm only they can understand, familiar hands travelling to touch what no one else can, Sirius was Remus', and Remus was Sirius' too. Their kiss expressed every "I love you." and "I miss you." and "I need you" that was lost when they were forced apart. 

"Moony don't let go.. please" Sirius whispered the second their lips parted, millimeters away from Remus' lips, he felt Remus' breath on his lips, eyes closed and hands held. 

" never in a thousand years, you're mine Sirius, you'll never be someone else's, only mine" Remus whispered, his mouth kissing every inch of sirius' neck, soft kisses turned to a bite or two, proving to everyone that Sirius was only his. 

After he bit a few marks on Sirius pretty skin, Remus pulled him back to their room, on their bed, under their blanket. His arms wrapped around Sirius' protectively.

" close your eyes padfoot, you're back home, you're in my arms again" he whispered and played with Sirius' hair, while Sirius buried his face in Remus' chest, seeking comfort and safety.

Soon enough, they slept, didn't bother to change out of their suits, they found comfort in each other's arms and it was all they needed now and forever.


End file.
